An..Anx...Anxiety

Yesterday and earlier today I went through a complete anxiety overload. I hate my anxiety disorder, I know I have one, and now acknowledge the fact I have one. And I'm thinking of talking to my parents to actually have me visit a psychiatrist perhaps. Can't run away from this forever, and if I don't fix this problem now, I am sure I will drive myself insane, give myself more health problems, never gain weight properly like I need to, and be the cause of breaking up with my current relationship. Which I cannot even fathom to think.
To get my thoughts together, I decided to give myself a 'day off' today from people and everyone, but so far I'm failing miserably. I've been on the dreaded slave of facebook all day and have found ways and excuses to text my boyfriend for absolutely no reason. So there's another disorder notch in my mind as well, I hate..hate..HATE to admit but I have dependecy issues. I fear rejection and lonliness so I treasure my family, close friends, and relationships a bit TOO much to the point where I don't function properly if I don't know what's going on with them. It's sickening, for a person who values independence and solitude, I have a dependency issue. fml.
I am going to find a way to fix it, but I can't do it alone. Which is why I'm okay with the idea of a psychiatrist (you should have seen me months ago when my parents suggested it, I was hysterical to say the least)
For now, I'm procrastinating terribly on all my chores. Wish I knew why, I probably..no..most likely..no...NEED TO get on that, my parents will be home in 5 hours approximately and I don't want to spend the last hour rushing things, that's not 'mature' at all -_-
Plus I want nothing to worry about at the moment besides playing my Persona 3 FES. I'm in love with that game..still..and the ps2 is currently still on and has been for 2 days straight because I disregard the responsibility to save before every big talk scene or boss fight. When will I learn?~ Anyway..
I've fixed up my blog. I like it this way. And I fixed up the profile playlist, and have decided on a final name. And I enjoy it. I kind of went old school with it, (old school in my terms..the 'old me' which was a very dramatic poetic artistic realist..and I want that back..it makes me happy.)

That's all the updates I have for today..unless I come up with more..Sorry for lack of pictures. Not much to image in this post.

-Des